Sexuality, too, is fluid, and many people seem to struggle with this, to the point of being actively repulsed and confused by the idea that sexual orientation does not necessarily remain consistent throughout someone’s life. This attitude is harmful for those who do experience shifts in their sexual orientations, but it also stifles conversation and exploration, as people who may be confused about their sexuality who receive this kind of messaging may experience harm that takes years to undo—and in some cases, they may never recover, because they are never given an opportunity to learn who they are and be themselves.
Take, for example, the heterosexual woman who later develops an attraction to women, and begins to identify as bisexual or lesbian. She may have experienced this attraction throughout her life and not picked up on it—perhaps she didn’t meet the right woman, or she was living in a repressive environment where homosexuality was not accepted. Or maybe her sexual orientation actively shifted. The attitudes of those around her will be dismissive and unpleasant, as people attempt to erase both her past as a heterosexual and her present as a gay or bi woman.
Though her sexuality has shifted, she remains fundamentally the same woman. Her past history doesn’t magically vanish, and she may even look back on it with fondness or gratitude for the relationships she had. Likewise, people may move through other sexual orientations depending on circumstances, their current stage of life, and other factors; the asexual who later realizes he’s gay, the lesbian woman who develops a bisexual attraction.
I think people are really frightened of the idea of fluid sexuality because they’re very commited to the idea of marrying someone for the rest of their lives and fluid sexuality seems to threaten that. The thing is, our fluid sexuality isn’t something uncontroleable, it’s often something we can nudge in the direction we want it to go. And our fluid sexuality serves our relationships far more often than it catches us by surprise. Are you not attracted to the idea of your partner at 70? not yet. You can thank your sexuality for fixing that. Are you not attracted to your partner after their life and body changes drastically by illness? Give it time and watch your sexuality change. Think you’ll never be attracted to your transgender partner if they transition? I’ve seen tons of examples how your sexuality can grow to include their new selves. But even without any of those things, your partner is always going to change and part of the succes of your relationship depends on the ability of your sexuality to change and keep up with that.
morning is wincing is aching is pain
afternoon. she wakes she stretched she sighs.
evening she cooks she shares she laughs
night brings the faeries the spirits the angels
tomorrow work looks like loving like crying like fucking.
rest, woman, rest.
In a world of out making…
At Lanvin Fashion Show At Paris Fashion Week (Feb. 27)
Here’s one truth, black folk are all home grown Negroes in one space and international blacks in another. In other words, apparent privilege is often attached to location. I’m a Black British chick, a daughter of the diaspora with parents born and raised in Ghana from two different tribes. I have an Ashanti mama and an Nzema daddy. I claim multiple identities: tribe, color, country, continent. I am Black, Black British, British, Ashanti, Ghanaian, African. So, in London, I am a home grown negro, it is where I was born and mostly raised. In New York (where I now live), I am black, I am an international black. I often hear intelligence ascribed to my Britishness by white Americans, and a somehow superior sense of knowing myself due to being Ghanaian and having a mother who is Ashanti and a pop who was Nzema by black Americans. In South Africa, I am simply another black African - another home grown negro - until I speak, and then my British accent affords me very specific privilege among some white South Africans and I then become an international black, superior - in their eyes - to black South Africans - their home grown negroes.
white supreme,act.. playing us like some fucking fiddle
^^^^^^^ exactly what it is…
YES YES YES YES YES! This is what I mean!